people say “just take a deep breath.” but i cant unless theres a cigarette on my lips they say “take a shot at life.” but the only shots i take are ones at parties where im surrounded by strangers who are just as fucked up as me
There will be days when your whole body will feel like it is as heavy as the world itself, you won’t even find the motivation to get up. There will be days when you will get stuck in the middle of the traffic or the train will arrive too late for you to make it in time. There will be days when you will start the day by wanting to end it. There will be days when there will be a pool of lava fiercely boiling inside you but then you have to conceal it for you can’t errupt in the middle of the street you are walking on. There will be days when you will find the world a little too loud and a little too crowded that you will wonder if ever you ever belonged in it at all. There will be days when your chest will feel as heavy as the clouds and it will take everything in you just for you not to rain to others.
And there will also be nights when fear will just chain you to your bed until you will doubt your ability to move. There will be nights when pain will not stop singing your lost memories to your ears until you just feel it seeping through your entire body. There will be nights when tears will just flow endlessly from your eyes, drenching your pillow and sheets, making your vision blurry of what you need to be seen. There will be nights when you will start looking back to all the mistakes you did as you question yourself if ever you did anything right at all. There will be nights when you want to disappear for you can’t see any reason to go on with this life you are living in.
But then there will also be days when you will be greeted by the sunlight and the smell of the coffee, energizing you to start the day anew. There will be days when everything around you will seem so colorful and everyone will smile at you as you embrace the joy they bring. There will be days when your loved ones will hug you a little tighter and your lover will kiss you a little longer and you will question yourself why it took you so long to choose happiness. There will be days when you will be surrounded by the music of life and you will see the future with clarity and better perspective. There will be days when you will not even feel the time passing by because you are too busy giving love away and sharing laughter. There will be days when you will be the sun, illuminating everyone with your endless glow.
And there will also be nights that you will spend chasing after the city lights as you dance with the rhythm of the hustle of the car honks. There will be nights when you will look above and see the stars smiling at you and the moon telling you that your wounds have already healed. There will be nights when darkness will not be the only thing you’ll see for you will be surrounded by those who are willing to get burned just to light your way home. There will be nights when your tears will not be present and your sheets will be dry for you are busy listening to your heartbeats instead of crying. There will be nights when you will unchain yourself with fear and your daunting past. There will be nights when you will sleep peacefully as you navigate through your own dreams.
There will be terrible days and nights that will make you despise the world and the life that you have but then you should never ignore all the magnificent days and nights that you had and will still have. There may be days and nights when you will feel stuck about where you are or will make you question about who you are but there will also be days and nights that you will find the answers that you have been looking for so long. There may be days and nights spent on bruises and scars and cuts and broken heart, you should never lose the hope that the next days and nights will be spend with giggles and cuddles and healing and falling in love again.
Living may be hard because of the bad days and nights but know that they will not stay forever. There are days and nights that you will never get tired of replaying over and over again. There are days and nights that you will spend epic memories in. There are days and nights that will give you the meaning of life. These are the days and nights that you stay alive for. These are the days and nights that you keep on staying for. These are the days and nights that you deserve to see and you should hold on until the end.
The ’90s were a decade of highs and lows. Bill Clinton swept into the United States Presidential office on the promise of change; viewers made new “Friends”; civil war rocked Rwanda; a notorious Colombian drug lord was taken down, and MTV’s “The Real World” changed the television programming landscape. It was a time when technology accelerated us into our digital future, and a time when billionaires were created faster than ever before. With a star-studded cast of actors, eyewitnesses, politicians and celebrity interviewees, The 90s: The Decade That Connected Us tells the story of 10 years before boom turned into bust; 10 years when the Web was wide open; 10 years before globa…