She won’t call you, you have to call her. She won’t come talk to you, you should go talk to her. She’s not going to let you act stupid and pretend she likes it. You should just be around her. When you’re with a group of friends, she isn’t going to run into your arms no matter how much she wants to. You need to come up behind her and wrap your arms around her, and let her friends get jealous. She loves you more than you can imagine, no matter how much she doesn’t show it. But you boy, you need to show her how much you love her. So she isn’t afraid to show it back.
My worth, same as yours…same as other woman’s and man’s- the common denominator? nothing but; BECAUSE I’M A FREAKING HUMAN BEING WHO IS FREE TO LOVE, AND NEEDS TO BE LOVED. I have the right to say so, not because this page is mine (oh well, primarily yes) and not just because I live in a democratic country, but because this is what my freaking insane heart wants to express. I am who I am. I have worth and all you have to do is to figure it out…
and it’s not easy to say those words, neither it is easy to look for the answer.
How could one gets so misunderstood? Decoding, encoding…decipher decipher decipher…c’mon, I feel like an alien on my own town. I feel so foreign among the people I’m around, be it like I’m minority who knows nothing but barbaric deeds and primitive things in a complete concrete jungle. It’s hard. It’s difficult, it really is. There’s this driving force within me that wants to escape, I can’t comprehend anymore. My mind totally shut down, or shutting down, or about to shut down…eff..whatever, but I’m like a freaking machine-operated, yes..computer-generated invention who’s system wants to just freeze for a moment. Just a freaking moment. Just, uhm…just breathe.
Everywhere I go, every people I meet and converse with, almost every social-networking site I’d visit…there’s this one thing commonly seen among them. In the course of our daily lives, LOVE- the unending, famously-used word ever in this cheeeesssy world…haha…is the most popular. It’s like a subject for a pop-art. Things you see everyday, things that are so popular„,that became part of people’s lives and now subject for an artwork. Something like this, over “used”.
It’s so nice to see people who are in love. Their eyes are glowing, it’s like there are notes and stars blinking, glistening…sparkling..whatever…It’s like flowers are everywhere. It feels like the world would stop and the time won’t go tic-tac, it’s simply amazing. And so I feel happy seeing other people happy because they are so much in love, they are so into each other, they wake up every morning because of such simple yet risky reason- they breathe to be alive for their love ones. Cheesy and mushy quotes and sayings, and songs of different genre are everywhere. Flowers and sweet decadents; your favorite chocolates are present everyday, not just on special occasions. The power of music, and poetry are back just to win one’s heart. Isn’t that sooooo amazing? people would do everything just to win and get love.
But what do people regret to perform?…
simple, they love truthfully and faithfully, but merely forget the value and worth of the people they are actually loving. Yes, they love…they are doing everything, giving all that they could do…but do they really know your worth? your value? and if one day you’d be gone, would they even try to look for you? Indeed, I would agree that people show their care for one’s worth is when that certain being is not with them anymore. We tend to IGNORE them, their presence, BECAUSE we know that they are just there- they won’t ever go…and that they will never leave us. But what if the time comes that one has to go? Then I can foresee REGRETS will flow and TEARS would freely just go.
and what am I really trying to point out?
This- worth. Spell it right W-O-R-T-H. According to my ever reliable buddy- Oxford dictionary such word is equivalent to VALUE; deserving to be TREATED or REGARDED in a specific manner…blah blah blah..a whole lot. Whether you love or do not love the person, show him/ her the “Worth” s/he deserves to have and receive. Everyone, each of us deserves to feel important, valuable…right???
Catatonia- (n) abnormality of movement and behavior arising from a disturbed mental state.
Yeah, me…I just love this person so much. Love him dearly. I love him not because that’s what I am supposed to feel, but because that’s what I chose to feel- simply love him. And I’m afraid I’d be catatonic any soon due to “over-thinking” of things I should not think of. Paranoia. Insensitivity is taking place. I need to understand. I have yet to learn what is it to be comprehended. It’s not easy, and it will never be easy. What my heart is trying to express isn’t what my mind is trying to tell me. I need balance. I want peace of mind. I need serenity in my life, in ours.
“In this planet where all you could ever do is to fit in, to go with the flow and the waves and the heat…and so on..HOW COULD I EVER FIT IN, IF YOU WON’T LET ME?
Sometimes, unconsciously it is…you would feel at some point the state of being “UNIMPORTANT”. People come and go, they seem to just pass by. TODAY I’m alright, LATER I’m not. TONIGHT I’m important, and the NEXT DAY…I’m NOTHING. Insensitivity takes place—-something I never would want to happen.”—deeply hurt (and the secrets of a soulful being)