I guess that’s what perfectly fits who I am in his life. Who am I? I’m just an ordinary girl back then. Was a part of his past, reconnected with through freaking internet and now what? Oh yeah,nothing much has changed except for this good stuffs I can now buy, a stable job, an unending tons of books to read…single and STILL shadowed by the cyberspace screen. I am virtual.
It’s just now that I’ve realized I’m like Sara in the movie Serendipity, I could barely remember his picture in my mind…he’s the leviathan of it. It seems like yesterday, but now it’s nearly 3 years since we got that reconnection.
I’ve realized that after years of trying to find someone, I ALWAYS end up trying to find that path to YOU. It’s always been you and I don’t seem to understand WHY? The standards, characteristics of the man that I want always leads to you. Until now, I haven’t or maybe we haven’t figured out yet the real reason behind this feeling; if there’s such. I would want to believe this exists.
Sometimes, I would want to give up finding ways how to get to where you are. You seem so close but in real you are so far from me. I wanna see you. I wanna feel, embrace, kiss you. I wanna love and take care of you. I wanna vindicate this feeling… I wanna believe WE COULD HAPPEN. But then again, I am just a second best…your second option back then. A sad truth I don’t wanna recall but it keeps on ringing my consciousness whenever I’d think of you and a possible “US”.
I wonder if you’d ever want and like me again. You chose to stay with her, and we kept our friendship.I was so hurt and lonely I almost curse the holidays. I suffered from depression. I pushed you away, but we still kept our friendship. I tried to let my heart fall in love with somebody else. I know you were hurt as well even if you didn’t tell me… He left me and then she left you…and now we’re here can’t find the right time and the path. We remain friends.
And where will this story lead us?
If forgetting you was easy, I could’ve done so many things and met some other guy here and there.But it wasn’t. I couldn’t fully grasp why a person like me feel this way. I’ve waited so many years and still counting.
I want you to like me or love me. I want to believe in that idea but if you really do I know you’d be here and you’d do everything just to be with me… but I’m still here waiting like what I’ve promised you some 2 years ago.
Until when will I wait?
Until when will I sing alone and hold on to the idea that this could be a beautiful movie-like love story?
Soulmate, yes you are. I consider you as my other half, my soul-twin, my bestfriend, my dream, and the only problem and sorta headache that I would want to have for the rest of my life. If and when I will not be the one who would walk down the aisle with you, surely I’d find someone like you…but yeah I wanna see you first before that happens just to make sure about my feelings. If i die tomorrow my soulmate, you know you are so DEAR to me.
You’re as special as the sunshine that makes me happy each morning I wake up in this cruel world. I know my life would be EASIER and HAPPIER if you’re around… and if you’ll let me love you even if you thought I was just a second best, or that funny girl who’s been trying to sound that I’m good at english, or just your clock, prolly a good old friend…yeah but if you’ll let me..
I’ll make the most out of the remaining days and years I have on earth. Love woudn’t be a question anymore.
Love will be you and me.
If this isn’t love yet, just let me feel this and let me say,
"Hey, I’d like to believe and have faith in destiny. You are my soulmate."
Yours and yours alone,
(some random stuff I just did thru phone..Serendipity inspired).